Have you noticed people becoming more openly disrespectful when someone is speaking?
I’m not talking about people looking at their phones (although that’s a problem too), I’m talking about the things people do that not only signal they aren’t paying attention, but also show they don’t care if anyone else nearby wants to pay attention either.
At work, this often shows up as side conversations in meetings.
Not only is it unproductive, it’s quite rude. (And when a Brit says something is “quite rude,” that is usually a massive understatement!)
Of course, we see this outside work too. Anyone who has been to a cinema recently has probably experienced the people who insist on talking through the film as though the rest of the audience paid to hear their opinions.
But in workplaces, the impact is worse. People talking during meetings makes it harder to hear, harder to focus, and harder to make good decisions. It distracts the speaker, frustrates everyone trying to pay attention, and quietly signals: “What I have to say is more important than what is happening right now.”
So, what can you do about it? And what if you are just a participant rather than the person leading the meeting?
A Surprising Example of Leadership During a Presentation
Recently, I saw a great example of someone dealing with exactly this problem.
During a presentation at the Africa Forward Summit in Kenya, French President Emmanuel Macron stood up from his seat in the audience, walked onto the stage, and took the microphone from the host in the middle of a live interview.
At first glance, it sounds rude. But it was actually the opposite. He interrupted because people in the audience – an audience full of national leaders, dignitaries, and influential guests – were talking loudly while others were trying to speak on stage.
His message was simple:
“This is a total lack of respect. If you want to talk, go outside. If you want to stay here, you need to listen to the people on the stage.”
Direct? Yes.
Necessary? I think so.
After a round of applause, he handed the microphone back and returned to his seat. The host’s response was brilliant:
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is leadership.”
(You can watch the clip here. It’s only about a minute long and worth seeing for yourself.)
Why Side Conversations in Meetings Matter
What stood out to me wasn’t just what Macron said. It was that he acted. He didn’t wait for the host to step in, and he didn’t quietly complain afterwards. He saw behaviour that was disrespectful to the speakers and disruptive to the audience, and he decided to do something about it.
That matters because side conversations in meetings rarely fix themselves.
Most people notice them but few people address them. And over time, they become normal. It hurts meeting quality, damages focus, and makes it harder for people to contribute confidently – especially quieter voices.
The bottom line is if someone is speaking, they deserve attention.
What To Do When People Are Talking During Meetings
There are several good lessons here.
1. If other people are talking, you shouldn’t be: Respect the speaker and make sure that if side conversations start, don’t contribute to the problem. This applies whether it is a meeting, presentation, townhall, or workshop.
2. If people around you are being disrespectful, do something about it. Ignoring bad behaviour quietly encourages it. On the flip side you do not need to start a confrontation. Often, a simple and respectful comment is enough to refocus a room.:
-
- “Can we have one conversation at a time?”
- “I’m struggling to hear.”
- “I think we’re missing what they’re saying.”
3. Don’t wait for the “official” leader to address the issue.
This is the big one. Yes, it probably helped that Macron is the French President. But the bigger lesson still stands: You do not need to be the boss to influence the behaviour of a group.
In a work meeting, a townhall, or even a small team discussion, anyone can respectfully step in. Sometimes leadership is simply being the person willing to say what everyone else is already thinking.
You Don’t Need Authority to Show Leadership
One of the biggest myths in workplace communication is that leadership belongs only to the person with the title.
It doesn’t.
Sometimes leadership looks like speaking up when people are disrespectful, and sometimes it is simply helping a distracted room refocus.
>> Did you know: I cover meeting structure and participation in more depth in my book on effective meetings? <<
One More Communication Lesson…
Credit to the interviewer.
When faced with the president of a major world power unexpectedly walking onto her stage and taking the microphone, she stayed calm, showed confidence, and used humour. If you listen carefully, you’ll hear her laugh and say:
“It’s not your turn – can’t you wait?”
That is great emceeing under pressure, and I hope she gets recognised for it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it rude to have side conversations during meetings?
Usually, yes. Side conversations during meetings distract attention, make it harder for others to hear, and can signal disrespect to the speaker and the audience.
How do you stop people talking during meetings?
The best approach is usually calm and respectful. Try simple phrases like:
- “Can we pause the side conversations?”
- “I’m struggling to hear.”
- “I think we’re missing an important point.”
What should you do if colleagues are distracting a meeting?
If possible, respectfully address the behaviour rather than ignoring it. You do not need authority or a leadership title to help refocus a group.